Life has been teaching me a lot lately. Life, itself, has proven to be this endless cycle of change, reaction to change, and learning who you are over and over again. With every change, there is choice; we have the ability to either respond or react, and with each choice, we learn a little more about who the hell we really are. The choices that come naturally and leave us feeling at ease and confident help ground us in who we are and what we believe. Those choices that feel uncomfortable, forced, or fake create awareness of who we don't want to be, and present us with the perfect opportunity to reroute to our true selves.
Awareness is everything. The ability to check in with myself and acknowledge how I am feeling, why I am feeling that way, and choosing to accept or redirect myself gives me the ultimate control of my own life. Literally, everything is a choice. Being aware of those choices and giving myself the power to make them fills my day with endless opportunity.
The biggest lesson I have learned is that I can always counter a negative thought with something positive. It's a worn out statement, but true, that you can always find the good within the bad. I choose to be happy and therefore need to be conscious of my thoughts and redirect them when they slide down the slippery slope of negativity. It's so easy to get caught up in all that goes wrong, but it's also so easy to counter that thought with things that are going right. My mood will drastically change if I go from being upset with my husband for the sink full of dishes, to acknowledging that he made the bed that day. I can be down about the rainy weather, or find opportunity for indoor crafts with my daughters. I can feel lazy about taking a rest day, or remind myself how good it is for my body. By constantly having these counter thoughts, I create my own happiness. I am able to fill myself with gratitude because my energy isn't being wasted acting pissy. Negativity feels like shit - you're tense, your mind churns those thoughts over and over, you get more upset, you drag other people into your Debbie-downer bubble because misery loves company, and then what? No matter who you go to, it's your problem to fix because it's all in your head. Your thoughts are your choice, so choose wisely.
Another major life lesson has been about friendships. I've learned that a good friendship takes an honest look at two things: the kind of friend you need in your life, and the kind of friend you are able to be to others. Sometimes these truths are hard, but mostly I have found them empowering. It's allowed me to let go of long term friendships that have been dwindling since high school, and also to strengthen the ones that have lasted. This is just another way of gaining control of your life. Friendships, though seemingly effortless, do in fact take work. They occupy your thoughts, they are incorporated in your desire for balance, they need attention and tending to, and so on. All of these things require energy, and it's important that your energy is well spent. The more wisely I have chosen my friendships and the effort I put into them, the better friend I have become. And, my awareness of how others disperse their time, effort, and energy into a friendship confirms that my efforts are worth while. I am fortunate to have a variety of friendships, some that have lasted my entire life, some since middle or high school, and others that came about in my adult life. All have such different dynamics, and help shape me to be a better person - and call me out on my shit otherwise.
And then, there's other ways that making the positive choice has changed me for the better. Like choosing to be happy for my husband when he's doing something for himself; I can now see that it makes him happy, and his happiness is my happiness - rather than being bitter about long lifting sessions or a night out with a friend. Or choosing to view the dog's barking as a form of loyal protection instead of a loud annoyance. Or choosing to turn up the music and dance through the chore list with the kids instead of griping over all that needs to be done. The mind is a truly powerful tool, and creating these countering-habits for more glass-half-full views has only strengthened the person I am, and what's even better? I only needed myself to do so.
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