Thursday, April 9, 2020

Diggin' It

No one wants this virus to be happening. No one wants to be stuck at home, out of work, or feeling scared like so many of us are forced to be right now. With all the loss of control in the world and our daily lives, our only option is to find the good, that silver lining in this uneasy time. It can be hard to look past the Groundhog Day boredom, the countless sibling battles, the suffocating feeling of not being able to go anywhere, but doing so can help us from spiraling and help us actually enjoy this time for what it is.

Okay, so there have been some low days. I'm talking days where I get a little excited to find dog poop on the floor just because it gives me something to do (A-ha! A task!). But, as repetitive and as boring as it can be to wake up and have nothing to do day after day, there's also an element of excitement, of ease to it all as well. I think I love having nothing to do with the option to do things with no time restraint. Exercise, cooking, reading, TV shows, sun bathing, card games, crafts...all things that would be crammed in in the allotted window; before work, after dinner, before the kids wake, after bedtime, before a class, after homework...there was a time and a place for it all, and now it's all up in the air; as we please, at leisure, relaxed.

I think what I'm loving the most is how we are all connecting more, both within my immediate family at home and with friends and family from a distance. I tell ya, I'v never appreciated FaceTime and Zoom so much. I love my happy hour with friends, as we sip drinks and catch up "face to face", I love the coffee date I had with my sister as we caffeinated and caught up, I love the more frequent phone calls and check-in texts that build stronger bonds. Even having moved far away, I feel closer to people more than ever. At home, with less distraction, I feel more detailed conversations unfold between my husband and me; instead of simply asking how my run went, he goes on to ask how many miles, how I felt, where I ran, which leads to talk of previous races and the encouragement of any upcoming. With our gyms being closed, we've been able to connect more in our home-gym, whether it's sharing work outs or simply keeping each other company. I've been more compliant to him training me, and he's been more open to try things I suggest.

With my kiddos, I no longer have to put pressure on myself to evenly distribute my time between them, because all we have is time. We can flow through the day picking up a deck of cards here or putting a show on there. I have the time to do the time consuming things they enjoy, like giving Hannah a make-over or listening to Lyla's playlist alongside her. I've also been able to teach them things from my childhood, like card tricks and hand claps. They've learned some new chores and how to cook some new things, but have also had more screen time than I usually allow which has been a treat for them and a lesson in letting go for me.

Oh and this weather! How thankful I am to be quarantined in Wilmington, where we have the ability to spend most of our days outdoors. Bike rides, basketball games, and jump rope challenges have not been cancelled. The ability to go lay out in the sun (and not feel guilty because, time!) has not been cancelled. Front porch white wine before dinner has not been cancelled. As shitty and as scary as this can all be, there is so much good right now. My kids are happy because they are relaxed, and can have alone time or mommy-time as they see fit. My husband can relax after work knowing that if he wants to kick his feet up or throw a show on, I am more than happy to take a book outside while the kids play. I am happy because of where we are, the connections we're making, the tan lines I'm getting, and the time; I am most thankful for the time. Time to get in the best shape of my life, time to clean my house without guilt, time to read or rest, to spend with family or on the phone with loved ones, time to have extra drinks and Trader Joe's treats, time for it all. 

Quarantine, I didn't choose ya, but I have learned that I sorta dig ya.

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