Keep Challenging

Today, I was challenged with an injury. Not only was it challenging in a physical sense because I was suddenly immobile, had to reschedule clients, and bounced between ice on the couch and easy steps on the treadmill, but it shed light on challenges I thought I was doing better with. 

My alarm sound at 5:30, giving me my precious hour of coffee, reading and writing before heading out for a run or out to the garage for some lifting. With my husbands work schedule as crazy as its been, he was forced to stay for 3rd shift, which made this morning an automatic running-rest day for me. I sipped away next to a dessert scented candle, thinking about what exercises I'd put myself through shortly after. I closed my book, tossed back my last sip of coffee, pulled my knee sleeves on, and went out to the garage. Bench press and high pulls to start, sounded good! 10 sounded like a solid number of reps for today - lets do this. Oh, what's that? Sudden sharp pain in my back? Huh, that's weird. Guess I won't be finishing out the 4-5 sets I had hoped to complete. After taking a few steps and feeling my back grow increasingly stiff, my mind shifted from exercise to work. "Well, this is going to be uncomfortable today" I adorably thought to myself just before the pain grew so much that I suddenly found myself stuck in the garage; kids asleep, husband still at work, barbells and weights everywhere. Shit! It took a while but I managed to get myself back into the house and on top of an ice pack, after spilling several cubes onto the floor and laughing at the fact that there was nothing I could do about it. Doctors orders: ice for 15 minutes. Done. Went to get up to excitedly wake Lyla for her first day of school...nope. Stuck, once again. Double shit! I sent tiny Hannah to her sister's room with orders to "kindly" wake her, while I lay like a lump on the couch until my husband finally arrived home to help me up. I took this opportunity to admit that I may not be working today (or the next day for that matter), and apologetically messaged several clients. 

The day was spoken for me: Heat, walk, self massage, gentle stretch, ice, repeat. Trying to be the glass-half-full kind of lady I typically am, I first tried to reason with this silly but extremely painful injury; maybe I needed it to appreciate the long runs to come, since I've done nothing but dread and complain about them. Maybe it was a sign to slow down. Maybe it happened to get me out of my comfort zone of work and forcibly cancel clients, which I've only ever done once before when I was fever ridden and stuck in bed. Or, it's quite possible it happened to make me come face to face with what I struggle with the most. 

I went from "glass half full" to trying to appreciate there being anything in my glass at all.

Mentally, I fought myself all day. I was instructed to walk in order to keep moving and avoid prolonged sitting, which I happily committed to since I couldn't shake the "bad" feeling of an incomplete work out this morning. It was nothing strenuous, seeing how I was barely able to walk in the first place, but I hobbled onto the treadmill 5 different times and walked a painfully slow mile each time. I'd be lying if I said that it was entirely geared towards what's best for my back - I played with the speed (though didn't get far before stabbing pains made that decision for me) and the incline because, hey, I wanted to do the most I could within reason. Once I realized what I was doing, or rather, how I was thinking, I said to myself out loud "I really suck at rest days" - and I do. 

As I continued my walking pattern throughout the day, I fell more in love with running and longed for this pain to go away. Feelings of jealousy bubbled up knowing close friends got their miles in, and fear of being stuck like this was a crippling thought. Everything I ate or drank throughout the day was stained orange by turmeric, which I added in generous amounts to naturally help with inflammation. I just wanted to be better! 

And then unhealthy food thoughts emerged. Now that I didn't get to exercise, I had to watch what I ate more than ever. It didn't help that a few nights before I allowed myself to eat "normal" at a wedding by picking at the food served instead of packing my own, and polishing it off with not one but two slices of wedding cake - there was chocolate and vanilla, I mean, I had to try them both! Initially, I did well with this decision. I felt in control of my disordered, over-thinking eating because, at that moment, I was able to rid of the guilt. The cake was insanely delicious and I enjoyed having it, I even embraced the all-day belly I sported the next day as my gut's reaction. However, what I didn't realize is that letting go of the guilt came with strings attached, and they were attached to thoughts of that weeks 20 miler, heavier lifting days, and healthier food choices. Suddenly, as I lay stuck on the couch with no chance of running in the next few days, feelings of guilt flooded me. Everything I work so hard to get out of my head - like calorie counting and "earning" or "burning off" food - consumed me. 

All of these feelings were a wake up call of how I will never be done working on a better me. I thought I was exercising healthfully, when really I was still using it to justify rest days and food intake. I thought I had stopped comparing myself to others and yet felt painfully jealous of friends who got to exercise. I thought I had a better handle on food, when suddenly I'm adding up the calories in my eggs and avocado once again. 

So, do I think this back injury happened for a reason? Who knows. What I do know is that I embrace the opportunity to challenge myself by coming face to face with my struggles, because right now, there is no exercise or busy work days to distract me. Just me and my limited self, alternating between heat and ice, trying to heal in more ways than one. 

Removing the Guilt

Let's dive right in here- guilt is shitty. It only makes us feel badly about ourselves, a decision we may have made, or something in the past that we cannot go back and change. When you really think about it, feeling guilty is pointless; not only because we do not have the capability to go backwards in life but also because that guilt typically comes from an outside source, rather than from within ourselves. At least for me, I have learned that most "bad" decisions I have had less to do with the event itself and more with the guilt associated with it afterwards. However, I've also learned that if I am able to remove the guilt from my choices, I am able to choose more wisely and therefore gain confidence in my decision making. Not to mention, develop an ability to just enjoy more. Here's what I mean...

There are two things in my life that get more of my attention and energy than they deserve: eating and drinking. I grew up in a family that struggled with alcohol consumption, and have had my own struggles with food over the years. I have a tendency to be over-aware of my own alcohol and food consumption, and though these choices have grown to be quite healthy ones, I still find that I over think them and as a result, experience quite a bit of guilt when wandering out of my "norm".

Because of my family's history with drinking, I question nearly every one that I have. There are days where a nice glass of wine simply sounds good, and I talk myself out of it. Then, there are days where I have that glass (or two!) and find I can't even enjoy it because with each sip, I am wondering if I should pour it back into the bottle and make a tea instead. There are weeks that I am not in the mood to drink at all, and others where I'll have one with dinner or before bed every night. What I concluded was that I didn't feel better or worse based upon alcohol consumption, but from the confidence in my decision and the amount of guilt that came along with it.

If I was in the mood for a drink but forced myself to have something else, I felt deprived and under the pressure of my own over-analysis. If I had that drink but felt uneasy with each sip, I felt anxious and guilty for pouring it. Life is to enjoy, and here, I had to learn how. My only way of doing this was to remove any guilt associated with my decision. If I made the choice, whatever it was, that was that, and I was to  allow myself to enjoy it. This went for food, too.

Having a sensitive gut and love for food is, at times, a tough combination. I've learned to create food choices that satisfy my big appetite and love for sweets while still being healthy and mindful of my tummy troubles. Now, having said that, this doesn't mean I never have ice cream with my kids or help myself to seconds - but this was another area that weighed heavily in the guilt department for me. It all comes down to the fact that our mind is in control of how we feel.

If we allow ourselves to feel guilty about the choices we make, it sets us up for negative self efficacy. We believe we have failed, tell ourselves we shouldn't have done that, and start to look at outside comparisons to either justify our decision or make us feel worse. For me, whether it was deciding to eat the ice cream or pour a second glass of wine, this negative mindset would spiral into thoughts of food restriction or over exercising as a form of self punishment. This, I decided, was bullshit. If I made the decision to gobble up some Acushnet Creamery or get my buzz on with some Cabernet, I needed to own it without being penalized. What was the point of these indulgences if I wasn't enjoying them? - that statement right there was an eye opener to so many different aspects of my life. I needed to enjoy my food and drink, I needed to embrace my rest days, I needed to be confident in my decisions; none of which would be possible without the removal of guilt.

It's a work in progress as it will always likely be, but I'm learning. When I'm staring at the bottom of an empty ice cream bowl, I remind myself how delicious it was instead of how far I will need to run to burn it off. When I decide on that glass of wine, I take the time to truly enjoy each sip. These things are made easier when other enjoyable aspects are incorporated - like having them outside in the sunshine or with good company. I've found that the more I enjoy the process of these things, the more I am able to rid of the guilt that could potentially be tied to them, because it is now an experience; something I am truly enjoying. I can wake up and remind myself how nice that glass of wine on the porch was last night, instead of feeling guilty about drinking it to begin with. I can relax and enjoy a treat with my girls knowing that I am embracing the time and memories with them. It's all about how we think, and in turn, how we talk to ourselves. If we think we are doing something wrong, we create our own guilt. If we own our decision, we can rid of it.

Own that shit!

Too Much Stability

Stability; it's something that everyone seems to want for themselves and their children. We want a steady job, to live in one place, to have stable relationships - all to essentially create this protective bubble around us from things we cannot control. I was raised this way. I lived in the same house for 19 years before moving out, my parents were married for most of my years at home, and our weekly routine was solid. Now, as an adult reflecting back, I'm beginning to wonder if there may have been too much stability in my upbringing.

Change was something I really struggled with as I entered my teen years. Everything from a change in relationship status to my best friend's parents remodeling their home; I had a very strong tendency to cling onto things. I also can now see that once I was comfortable, it took a lot for me to break free of that comfort zone, if it even happened at all. I had the same best friend my entire life, and we had a blast growing up down the street from each other, but I clung to that relationship so closely that it prevented me from branching out and becoming a part of other friendship circles. And, when my friend was able to do this, I felt trapped within my own limits. I put most of my energy as a teenager into my boyfriends; obsessing over seeing them, constantly on the phone with them, and always thinking of them. Having a boyfriend in general was a big part of my stability bubble, so I easily jumped from one to the next.

Too much stability made me feel close minded. I assumed I'd stay in Worcester forever, because, why not? My dad grew up just one town over, and has been in our Worcester house for nearly 40 years. I assumed I'd do the same. It wasn't until I chose to stay in the city for massage school when everyone else went away for college that I even remotely considered living someplace else. For the first time, I felt truly alone, and really had to make a plan for myself. But, as my stability bubble would have it, instead of taking that time to do what I did years later and work on getting to know myself through personal growth, I hopped online and found myself another boyfriend to fill the void.

Fast forward through a pregnancy, baby, break up, and yes, another relationship, my comfort zone was no longer in tact. How cliché of me to say that everything happens for a reason, but hell, it does. I can look back and literally watch these life events fall into place to create the puzzle that is now my life. Becoming a mother made me think for someone other than myself for the first time. Meeting my husband who lived 90 minutes away made me consider moving for the first time. Actually making that move forced me to make new friends, including getting to know just who the hell I was. And, all of this in turn has made me feel open to even more change and less "stability".

Take our house for example. When house hunting, we were very black and white about location; it either had to be near Worcester or near Fairhaven - we felt it necessary to be close to at least one side of our family. When we found a house that suited most of our needs in Acushnet, we bought it, and I assumed from living in the same house my entire life, that this would be it - our forever home. Being the clingy-type, I initially liked the comfort of having his family so close, both for the social aspect of simply knowing people in the area, and also for the help we receive with our girls. I also loved that I was a quick 90 minute drive from my mom and dad, and just an hour from my brother. This in essence still held up parts of that stability bubble for me. My husband has always talked about retiring to North Carolina, which for him is at a young 45, and though I was open to this thought, I always stubbornly refused to go anywhere until my parents passed. Knowing my parents lived in close proximity to theirs, I felt it was what I should do too.

Though time with family is important, I am starting to see that my thought process of staying put has more to do with that bubble of comfort than it does anything else. And, just like when my friends went away for college, soon, my parents whereabouts may change too. My dad and his wife plan to move to New Hampshire, my mother has always longed to live in Maine, my sister in law's dream is to move to Florida, and then there's us - sticking around in an area that my husband has always lived and is my new stable place. Recently, when talk of retirement emerged again, a new, liberating thought came about: why wait?

I must credit the piles of books, hours of yoga, miles of running, and pages of writing to the person I am today. It's truly been hard work, but to have reached a point in my life where I am comfortable simple being me is opening so many new doors. Never before would I have been willing to move completely away. And now? Now I know I will be fine no matter where I go, because I am who I am whether I live in Massachusetts or North Carolina, whether I am 90 minutes or 14 hours from family. Even if such a dramatic move isn't in our near future, I feel like my openness and willingness to do so proves that I have hit another level of comfort, though this time it isn't dependent on anyone but me. Plus, the thought of not having to deal with New England winters surely is a bonus.

This personal growth shit is pretty cool, and its "aha" moments like this that shed light on my progress. I may have had what I believe is too much stability in my childhood, and struggled with change until very recently, but had I not experienced all of that, I would still be close minded to the many opportunities that have presented themselves recently. I also know that I have the power to raise my children in a world of change and growth in hopes that they can be better prepared for what life has in store for them. Whatever the universe hands me, I feel ready for it, and that's pretty fucking awesome.

Disorered Eating Control - An Update

As I've written before, disordered eating has haunted me for years. Even once I was able to overcome the viscous cycle of over eating, over exercising, and restricting, I found that the hard part had only just begun: changing the habit is one thing, but training your mind to think healthfully was another.

I think my biggest motivation is knowing that a nourished body is an admired body. My husband used to rebuttal my "look at that guy's 6 pack!" comment with a "yeah, but it's easy for him because he's skinny" comment. I used to defend Mr. 6-Pack by arguing that just because he's skinny doesn't mean he doesn't work out often and eat right, until I realized that there may be some truth to what my husband was saying. It had more to do with the fact that someone who has to work harder is, in a way, more respected for their hard work and in turn their athleticism and body. I learned that if I restricted my eating or over exercised after a binge, there was the "but" factor - and not in the bootylicious kind of way - but in the "yeah, she has a nice body but she barely eats" way. I didn't want their to be a "but" factor when it came to my body, training, or really anything. I wanted to be healthy, and do to that by developing healthy habits with both food and exercise. If someone tells me I look great, I want it to be because I AM an eater, and I DO work hard in the gym, and I WORK to nourish my body. That is much more admiral than someone who looks good "but" works out three times a day, "but" they skip meals.

Gaining this control over my eating habits has allowed for more healthy exercise habits. I no longer wake up in the morning and base the days work out on the amount of almonds and cashews consumed before bed. It was under control, and therefore my work out will be what my body needs that day, whether it be running, lifting, yoga, or most important - a rest day. I am much more inclined to actually rest when I feel my body needs it knowing that I don't need to "work off" the previous days choices. A quote from Women's Health has resonated with me deeply: "Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you ate" - Bingo. It's actually more motivating to work out knowing that I'm celebrating a healthy body instead of punishing a malnourished one.

Other than the removal of my "trigger foods" to help me gain control, one of the biggest factors to my foodie-joy has been to simply give into cravings. If I want a glass or two of wine, I pour it. If I want dessert after dinner, I eat it. I've learned that restricting leads to binging, and to break that cycle I needed to simply give in here or there. A few bites of ice cream was much better than the entire container of strawberries I used to substitute for, and squashed my craving instead of leaving my palate insatiable.

I love food, and I am an eater. There are 3 eggs in my omelets, an entire avocado in my salads, bacon on my grass-fed burger, and everything is doused in olive oil. I love that I can be an example of someone who has overcome disordered eating by ACTUALLY eating - and in the high-fat high-protein manner to boot. I am healthy because I eat well and often, and because I work out with a healthy mindset. I respect myself for the choices I make, and because of that, other's respect it too. I love challenging my body in terms of exercise: how much further can I run? How much heavier can I lift? What new yoga poses can I learn? And, I love refueling my body properly to earn that respect. I'd rather eat the damn broccoli and have a bloated belly than to avoid a healthy choice based on image. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am today, and there are still days that I am a little too aware of my eating habits, but I am confident in the choices I am making for my health, and look forward to continuing on in the right direction.

Mother's Day

Voluntarily waking up at 4:50 on today, Mother's Day, has me filled with an amazing sense of self. After years of hard work to let go, just be, rid of expectations, and enjoy the little things, I woke with an empowering feeling of accomplishment; no thoughts of gifts or flowers, no desire to escape to a spa, no push to sleep in or do less - a free mind to enjoy the 2 reasons I am able to celebrate Mother's Day at all: my Littles and my husband.

One year, I set myself up for failure with my own expectations. I assumed I'd wake up to a beautiful bouquet of flowers on our dining room table, after, of course, being able to sleep in and maybe even receive breakfast in bed. You can imagine my annoyance when I was the one to wake up with the kids, walked into a dining room with an empty table, and bitterly began to make my own breakfast. The day had just begun, and I was already in asshole-mode. Though, I did give a solid effort to not seem annoyed once my husband woke up, that lasted about as long as breakfast did. I sat there, poking my scrambled eggs, and unwrapping hundreds of tiny folded pieces of paper with hearts on them that Lyla made me, before finally snapping at Eric. "You couldn't have at least got me flowers or something?!" He had no comment. Then, after taking the dog out, emerged with flowers and my favorite chocolate bar which he had been hiding in the car.

I ruined what could have been a great, relaxing morning with my family by expecting it to go a certain way. It's true what they say: let go of your expectations and you will never be disappointed. Just because I didn't wake up that morning to find flowers on the table, didn't mean I wasn't getting them, and because I had my own plan of how the day would go, I ruined a thoughtful moment. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't mindfully present while opening all these teeny adorable papers from my daughter (the reason I am able to celebrate this day in the first place!) - I was too busy being annoyed, fueled by expectation and selfishness. The funny thing is that I'm not even a huge gift person. I'd much rather give than get, but there's something about the questions you receive around a holiday like Mother's Day that sets you up for those expectations, even if it's not what you really care for. My mother is a big contributor to these questions, as she believes her daughter's husband should give her the world by showering me with gifts and foot massages and over the top plans. That's what she expected when she was married, and she wants me to expect the same. And, as clearly pointed out above, I used to.

Luckily, I've learned to shut down the expectations department. What a relief. Time holds more value to me than any number of flowers, diamonds, or gifts. Today, at 4:50, I got out of bed to enjoy one of my favorite times of the day, where the house is quiet and the birds are loud. I sipped my giant mug of coffee as I click away on the laptop, anticipating a day filled with nothing more than family. The greatest gift is simply time, and how lucky for me that today marks the first day of my husband's vacation. Normally, we would be squeezing as much time as possible out of the morning before he left for his second shift job, but today, we get to let it al unfold and just enjoy. For that, I am thankful. But today, for some reason more than others, I feel like I am "here" - I can feel all of my hard work paying off as I am able to simple be - it's been a long few years of endless reading, yoga, deep breaths, and self work, and it'll always be on-going, but today, I feel that inner calm I have been striving for. No expectations. A feeling I'm sure my husband will appreciate when he wakes up to loving arms instead of crossed ones. No asshole-mode today. Just gratitude.

Taking Care

As I explore my options of Wellness Coaching, as well as coast along in my own journey of health, I'm certain of one thing: self care is the bottom line of it all. And, as research and experience has taught me, it all begins with your mind. A positive mindset sets us up for success. Creating happiness and self love has been a long journey, but a powerful one nonetheless, and I believe that all good things naturally fall into place once this is established; eating healthy because you want to nourish your body; exercising because you want to feel good - these are fueled by the positivity that follows your self respect. Skipping a meal after a splurge because you feel guilty, justifying over eating because you didn't eat all day, or over exercising to "work off" things are all causing harm, not only nutritionally, but emotionally, because they are fueled by a negative sense of self. Once you rewire your mind to treat yourself with respect, good habits naturally occur, and you are able to make more clear, healthy, and mindful decisions.

I'm a morning person. I absolutely love waking up hours before my family and taking that time to myself. I'll join friends for a run, go to the gym, or read and write while I sip a bowl (yes, bowl) of coffee. I used to just view this as "me time" and left it at that, but what I didn't realize was how much of an impact my mornings had on the rest of my day - and my choices throughout. It was my time to be selfish, to think only of myself and my needs, and to take the opportunity to start the day on the right foot, regardless of how the previous day went. It was always a new start, and I was in control.  decided to use this control to establish healthy habits that would create a domino effect of good habits to follow thought the day. I started back on New Year's Day, the most cliché resolution day, simply with promising myself to drink warm lemon water first thing each morning. I bought a glass juicer that I squished half a lemon into while I let the hot water run, then combined and chugged with a straw. Not the most pleasant thing immediately after rolling out of bed when that 5am alarm goes off, but the benefit of knowing the good I was doing my body was rewarding. Not to mention, the tart taste woke me right up, which was helpful on days I dragged myself out the door to exercise minutes later.

Doing my body good on the inside made me want to do the same for the outside, and so I developed another daily habit: body brushing. This is one of my more bizarre things, yes, but with the benefits of exfoliating, increasing circulation, detoxing, and keeping cellulite at bay, it was an easy habit to keep, especially when I combined it with another daily habit: showering. Now, everyday before I shower, which I know I'll do, I body brush while the water warms. Consequentially, this lead to the habit of post-shower moisturizing. Amazing how something as simple as applying lotion (or coconut oil in my case) can be such a treat to yourself. The baby-soft skin as a result of the body brushing and moisturizing doesn't suck, either.

At this point on most mornings, it's still before breakfast, and the house is slowly starting to stir. I've already had my lemon water, exercised, and cared for my skin. This is my "feelin' pretty spiffy" time of the day since I have made all good choices and feel great, mentally and physically. Because of this, I am unlikely to ruin that with an unhealthy breakfast or poor attitude, and so the good habits keep unfolding as the day goes on. When I make myself a meal, I think about how it's nourishing my body, and that I'm eating for fuel, not comfort. Reminding myself to respect myself keeps me in check with my decisions - and this spans far beyond food, like when a client wants to be squeezed into an already packed day, and I have to say no, because saying yes meant not respecting my limits.

Another important way I "take care" is to eliminate the word "should" from most things. I should be at the playground with the girls, but I'd I would be cold, cranky, and miserable. I should eat this salad when what I really want is a burger. I should only have wine on weekends instead of incorporating it into mid-week laundry night. The thing about "should" is that it suggests something for us, based on society or other people we know, instead of allowing us to tune into our needs. The fact is, I get cold easily and don't want to be at the playground on those 40 degree days, and that if I'm craving a burger, I want to eat the damn burger, and that a glass of wine on Tuesday night turns folding 3 baskets of laundry into something relaxing and enjoyable instead of a dreaded chore.

As I've mentioned before, an area of struggle for me continues to be at night, after the kids are in bed. It's easy to justify an extra glass of wine or nighttime snack after an entire day of solid healthy habits, and even easier knowing I'll wake up to my warm lemon water and a fresh start the next day. This is where my work in "taking care" continues - but I'm also enjoying the challenge, and the reward being the good habit itself; when I wake up knowing I didn't over indulge, I feel a strong sense of self control. On nights where I may have had that little extra, I put my good habits to the test: eating a normal breakfast, exercising a normal amount, and continuing on with these little daily health choices to inspire another day of feeling good.

Taking care of how you think of yourself must be the first step in a healthy lifestyle. Mind over matter, love yourself first, and the healthy habits will naturally follow.

Job Lovin' and Making Changes

Sometimes, you have to make changes that work for you; that make your life easier and create more happiness. Today marks the start of a change that I had the luxury of creating myself - a new work schedule.

It sounds so simple - especially when I only made a few small changes, but the final decision to actually create these changes had me torn for months. As a massage therapist, a fair amount of my clients prefer afternoon or weekend appointments when they are out of work or school, and a big part of this profession is to be accommodating. So, I was. I hired a sitter who got my daughter off the bus on the afternoons I worked, fed my girls dinner, and made sure homework was done. This may sound like a good thing, but to me, those were my favorite parts of the day. I loved watching my daughter sprint from the bus to our front steps with her huge backpack bouncing behind her. I loved sitting between my girls at the dinner table and chatting about their school days. And, I loved watching my daughter zip through her homework in her school-loving way. And so, instead of feeling relieved to come home from work with all these things done, I felt like I missed out. For nearly 2 years I just told myself it's what needed to be done, and it was hard to consider cutting back since I really do enjoy going to work, but the more afternoons I worked, the more I felt a negative pull instead of a positive one. They are only going to be this little once, and so I decided that to me, this time was invaluable - even if it did mean creating a less flexible schedule for clients. First change made.

Second, was another tough decision to work less without losing too many hours. I know how fortunate I am to have built a solid clientele that keeps my schedule filled for several weeks at a time, but I also know that on some days, this work load was just too much. I didn't want the quality of my work to go down due to tired forearms and aching hands - not to mention, my husband and I didn't share a day off together and were seeing each other very minimally. And so the decision to go from 5 work days to 4 was next, with the perfect solution: lengthen my morning hours into the afternoon to make up for the lost day, but make that day off in the middle of my work week - which just so happens to fall on my husband's day of as well. BINGO. Mentally and physically, this break during the week allows the busier days to come to be manageable, and hooray for more time with my handsome hubby!

I've read a lot about happiness, and there hasn't been one book that doesn't mention choosing a career you love. Makes sense, since you spend most of your life working. I usually skimmed over these chapters since I was already job-lovin', but realizing that I could make my job even more enjoyable with a few simple changes made me feel empowered. I did this for myself and my family, and it feels damn good. Welcome, May! I'm giddy with excitement to embrace the challenge of a busier work day, with the gratitude of an extra day off and more afternoon time with my girls. Happiness really is an inside job, and I'm happy to go to work.